Delusion and Love

Posted: March 8, 2011 in The Many Facets of Love (Pag-ibig nanaman)
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He felt tremulous – his ideologies started to fade away, his torch of hope flickered as the cool breeze of doubt embraced and penetrated his mind; even the faith he had, began to crumble into pieces; his reality and truth collided with illusion…he was drifting to a vacuum. His colorful word started to turn gray – the gray will soon turn black and will envelope everything. Together with him, they will perish, they will vanish.

While he contemplated over his past, his present and what lies ahead, he stumbled over what he really felt for his loved one, the girl who tamed him… the girl who made him insane for some days.

He remembered the first time he laid eyes on her – everything was colorful, the flowers blooming, the birds chirping, singing in rhythm and the leaves were dancing with the wind, and every words spoken by her were music playing. He courted her never ever thinking what fate held on its palm, and so the story went.

He heard people say that when you are deeply in love, a feeling like that of a current passes through you from your love whenever you touch her/him. He started to look for that sign thus started his dilemma. He started to hunger for a deeper, a rather more intimate relationship where this ‘current thingy’ must he feel. He wanted the feeling, and he wanted it deliriously. He wished for his love to nourish or flourish and turn into something like a worm into a butterfly, the metamorphosis that he expected it to be. But the sign was not appearing, it actually never did. He was perplexed and he started wondering if he really was in love.

He was silent though with what bugged his mind. He wanted to know the truth. He was confused.

Day to day he put on what he thought was a charade. He had no courage of telling her that he might had mistaken the feeling as love, and the truth was, it was not. He was afraid to be confronted once the truth unveiled. He cannot face her again; her innocent eyes, her sweet voice, her tender touch.

Amidst delusion and even when his ideologies started to fade away, he clinched on to his belief one more time that sometime he would learn to love her as time will teach them bonding and trust, “but will that ever come?” he questioned. He felt that the fact that he displayed a disgusting and a shameful act tore him to pieces.

His higher consciousness said he needed to wake up and needed to cut the drama, but will everything be in-placed when he will wake up?” He was lost, misled and gone astray and he asked when will he find his words for truth and honesty. The time ticked-tacked and the Fates decided.

Then he bounced back from fantasy to truth. He surfaced. He woke up from his deep slumbering journey. Everything he thought true disappeared the moment his consciousness returned. The real in the land of dream faded away and was covered with truth. Everything is clear now to him.

Without doubts, without worries, without hesitations, he knows he really loves her. The displays he thought were acts are the truths; they were not acts, they are truths! They are real!

And then the once delusional man came to his senses….he is now awake!

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