Miriam Santiago Made it to be a Great Stand-up Commedian

Posted: May 5, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

It is fun hearing Miriam Santiago answers questions during interviews or during privilege speeches.

Here is one part of her speech during the Energy Summit in SMX, 2008:

But if you’re interested to read it instead, I’ve made the transcription:

Miriam:

…. these are young people talking about solution for global issues.

Problem, world hunger. Solution, chop up some of the hungry people and feed them to other hungry people until no one is hungry anymore.

Problem, world peace. Solution, remove all humans from the planet.

Problem, poverty. Solution, give the poor people the job of chopping up the hungry people, and pay them.

Problem, industries. Solution, this will never be solved, because no matter how fair something maybe, some lekramador will beat about it and will come up with laid excuse unto why it is unfair.

Problem, over population. You’ll know what the solution is… sterilize a population.

One last problem. This is a particular concern to me. This is the biggest problem of my life, stupid people. Solution, kill them! Only I can get to decide who lives

And now to beg the indulgence of our foreign guests, here in the audience this morning, because I will speak in Tagalog, but it will be a joke; in any event to make up for this… failure, I declare you, in my capacity as Former Immigration Commissioner of the Philippines, I declare you all, undesirable aliens.

I-test ko nga muna IQ nyo mga kapwa kong magtalumpati. May tanong ako. Tanong: Sino ang nagsabi nito:

Ayaw kona. Pag nagmamahal ako, lagi nalang ako, lagi nalang maraming tao ang nagagalit. Wala ba akong karapatang magmahal?

O, sino nagsabi nyan?

Sagot: Gasolina.

Finally. Hindi ba sa tagalog, pag nag-iinom tayo ng may alcohol, tayo ay may pulutan. Kaya sabi ng __________ Sabi ng foreign ambassador sa isang politikong kasama naming, what are the pollutants in our country. And the Filipino politician answered, “Oh, we have lots of pollutants, sisig, kilawin, chicharon, mani.”  Kaya ayaw ko ng sumasama sa mga politiko.

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